We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I had to cum in my sink.
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