marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize