I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
