I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
