how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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