I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
