oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
