ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
