One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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