please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
