I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
