Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
