There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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