Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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