Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize