I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
