he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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