omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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