She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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