Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
