Define "chronic" masturbator.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
