matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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