i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
