It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
