Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
