I smell stomach acid.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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