Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
