naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize