Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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