I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
