tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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