Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
