i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nicole vs. Life
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
