I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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