Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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