how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
