You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
