What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
