this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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