I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
