He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
