he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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