Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
