they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We have so much sex to catch up on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
