Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My vagina is very pro this idea
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
