do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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