Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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