the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
