you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
