Where is the hickey?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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