Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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