One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
