He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think a kid would responsible me up
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
