I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
