I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
