JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
