It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
