He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
