Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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