your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
