I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
