my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
