I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
