Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize