If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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