No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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