I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
