We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
