Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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